I lost 1...

What up y'all It's ya boi Keith, and I just wanted to tell you about the most devastating time in my life. From when I was in her belly, to the time I was born, and even as I have grown to where I am now, my mother has always greatly influenced my life in some type of way, shape, or form. She was always there like when I was doing very bad, real good, felt sad, was happy, I mean through thick and strand. She never misinformed me about anything; she kept it real and didn't sugar code nothing which is kind part of the reason why I am kind of a well-rounded person. Because she wanted me to be almost perfect because I was her firstborn. She told me that she used to read to me while I was in her belly, and I remember the times when I was real young( not even in pre-school yet) she used to whoop me until I learned my abc's and 123's and didn't let me go outside until I learned all of them. But, the point is she cared for me that much at my young age to try to break the trend of none of our family going to college. Besides my mom being hard on me, the thing I loved about her most was her warmheartedness. I used to always get a sense of comfort everytime I was in her prescence even if things weren't all good. I could tell her of any and everything that was going on in my life, or in other words, I did not hide anything from her. We had the type of bond that was very very unbreakable and everlasting. And, boy! she could surely throw down in the kitchen! I mean she put her foot down in whatever she cooked. But, to kind of fastforward to my point because I could go on forever about my life and relationship with my momma, I remember the tragic day like it was yesterday. My mother was a diabetic, and she also had bad kidneys, so she was in and out of the hospital. She left most of the job to me to take care of me and my brothers, Nicholas and Xavier, who were 8 and 6( I was 10). Oh, I forgot to mention that my so-called father abandoned us during the most desperate time of need, especially my mother. He was never there. But anyway, my mother was currently permanent in the hospital because her health was now critical. On the morning of October 20, 2000, we received the news that my mother had deceased 8:36 am that morning from failed kidneys. It was ironic because I was born at that same time 10 years ago. It was the most horrible mental breakdown that I had ever encountered in my life because after all the crying, not eating, and being very closed in and not communicating at all for about two weeks, I had made the decision to take my life because my mother was my life, and I had come to the realization that that closeness, friendship, assurance, etc. was gone, and I will never be able to have that type of relationship with anyone else. The only thing that stopped me was when I remembered that my mother had always stressed to me how important a man named Jesus was important to me, more than her and anyone else in my life. So I had finally come to my senses, and found out that Jesus had a reason of why he took the most precious thing to me away from me. He wanted me to note that he is the most precious thing to me, and from that point on in my life I completely turned my life around. I miss my mother greatly, but I am glad that I have no regrets because I always loved my mother, never took her for granted, and always respected and obeyed her. Besides, I know now that she is in heaven rejoicing and having a great time with God, and she is not enduring the pain and sufferrings that she had when she was on earth. Even though my mother may have left me physically, she remains with me in spirit and in my heart. For all these reasons I love God immeasurably and I'm at total peace with myself because I am assured of what beholds in my future. God bless! peace!